WARNING: Content may not be appropriate for all readers and may contain explicit terms and descriptions.
Before I begin, let us define these terms mentioned in the title. According to urbandictionary. com:
slut: (Third definition) "A derogatory term. Refers to a sexually promiscuous person, usually female. One who engages in sexual activity with a large number of persons, occasionally simultaneously. Also refers to one who engages in sexual activity outside of a long-term relationship within the duration of said relationship."
whore: (Ninth definition, #1) "A woman who has sex with numerous partners. The word is usually used in a negative manner as to imply the woman is figuratively dirty."
homewrecker: (Third definition) "(1) A person who allows, or convinces, a man/woman to cheat on their significant other with them, being the "homewrecker". (2) A person who sleeps with/has a relationship with a married man/woman, even tho they know that person is married. (3) A person who does one/both of the above, and feels no guilt or remorse whatsoever for their actions."
I was watching an investigative Christian news segment today which was on the topic of the possible decriminalisation of prostitution in Ontario, Canada. The segment interviewed two former prostitutes, former John, and a professor of law. It also aired footage of a current prostitute saying it was her choice and her career. As I was watching I noticed one of the former prostitutes was clearly nervous and I said aloud, as if speaking to her, "Don't worry, you're beautiful and you're gonna be great. You're doing the right thing, don't be nervous." I then questioned myself, amazed that I wasn't judging her. I don't normally encourage people through a television screen, so I thought I'd lost my mind temporarily. I then refocused and listened to her tell her story, but the incident stayed with me the rest of the day.
I've been thinking for a while now about sluts, whores and homewreckers. Things like why they do the things they do. Through my research on pornography, I know that the majority of women involved in the sex industry were often abused as children. Pamela Anderson, for example, broke down in tears before her first nude shoot because it reminded her so much of being sexual abused back when she was just a little girl, and by a family member no less. These facts were restated by the various guests, confirming that anywhere from eighty to ninety-five percent of females involved in the sex industry where sexually abused and often forced into the industry as minors. It's not really a choice is it, when that's really all you've ever known, which is why so many continue on in the industry.
Still mulling over the segment and my own reaction, I recalled a testimony shared by Jason Evert. He shared how he had wanted to minister to "exotic dancers" and so he parked outside of a strip club one evening and how he was all nervous because what if one of the folks from the Church saw him coming out of the strip club and how that wouldn't look right. Anyways, the sun was setting and he figured he may as well go home and then a single "exotic dancer" came out for her break. It's actually very fortunate because he only had one pamplet with him (it contained empowering messages aimed at women in the sex industry) and so he went up to her gave her the pamplet and told her she was beautiful, and he looked into her eyes and saw the saddest eyes that seemed to light up at his kindness. She smiled and he went back home. I'm pretty sure I messed up that testimony but you can hear it yourself if you YouTube him - he has a ministry teaching teens and young adults about authentic sexuality now, with his wife.
Y'know, it was just the other day when I was in the kitchen and I thought about yet another testimony. This fella liked to "order" prostitutes to a hotel room and when they got there expecting to "work" he instead offered them food, clean clothes, the shower and the ability to sleep in peace for a night. One could certainly argue that by supply and demand he was supporting the sex industry but I think it was the sweetest and kindest thing for him to do. I thought to myself how I'd love to be able to do that.
Do you know the difference between pity and compassion? The late Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen said that pity was really just false compassion and encouraged us to have a genuine compassion. Despite listening to his homily on the topic, which can also be found in three parts on YouTube, I still failed to understand the difference. It was only today, after attempting to comfort a former prostitute through the television screen, that I finally understood the difference. Pity involves judging that someone is lesser than you, compassion involves thought and wonder, seeing someone as an equal despite circumstance. Compassion leaps forth to encourage and comfort. Pity only desires to make what one sees, go away. Pity speaks of the exterior of a person, whereas compassion speaks of the interior of a person.
Today, I thought about sluts, whores and homewreckers. I thought about how it was so unfortunate that so many prostitutes were sexually abused and forced into the sex industry at such a young age. I thought about friends and friends of friends whom I know sleep around. I know that many of them are searching for something - love, comfort, a guy to be true. I thought about why people cheat on a significant other, how sometimes it's a lack of discipline and sometimes it's just selfish. I thought that if I were married to someone and they cheated on me, I would still stay with them because that is how Jesus is with the Church. However, if he cheated before we were married then I'd have to say goodbye. Then, I thought quite the controversial thought. I thought that if my husband ever cheated on me, I would like to meet this other woman - and oddly enough, I saw myself giving her a hug. I'd want to try to understand and help them both out, possibly making a friend out of this other woman. It's insane, I know, but somehow I feel that, that is exactly what I'd do. It's kinda like how when I saw the former prostitute, I wasn't thinking of her former profession, I just saw that she was nervous and that I'd be nervous too.
I love sluts, whores and homewreckers, and you can too.